Divorce can be caused by many different reasons and is a hard event in anyone’s life. It doesn’t always however have to be a wrestling match lasting for months in a court. A divorce mediator is a neutral third party that can work with you and your spouse on ending your marriage harmoniously and can help to deal with the circumstances that come with divorce.
The darkest part of Sara’s life, in her own words:
“The first six months of the divorce were some of the worst times of my life. I became addicted to alcohol, vicodin, and marijuana. My life was spiraling out of control. Although I kept a smile in front of my kids, my life was getting out of hand. I didn’t have a job at the time; I had applied to many but kept getting denied due to failed drug tests. It’s embarrassing when you receive phone calls on a weekly basis that tell you’ve failed another hair drug test. At this point, I needed to get help. I wasn’t going to be able to do it by myself. It started with a Google search. I landed on Drug Rehab Alliance’s website. They talk about drug addiction and how it affects people. From there, I found a local rehab center. The thought that kept me going through it all was that of my kids. I pushed through the rehab center and have been clean since that day.”
Some people think I am crazy to turn to marijuana after I divorced, but it helped me and that’s all that matters. I had been unhappy in the marriage for a while but hadn’t realised it. When we decided to divorce, I felt broken. I was afraid to be alone again and to lose my husband and life as I knew it. If you’re going through a divorce, make sure you both understand the mediation process.
Statistics show that alcohol can break down relationships and lead to divorce. I can’t speak about everyone, but, generally speaking, if alcohol is a big part of the relationship, it can be dangerous. Divorce is four times more likely when alcohol is a problem in the relationship, and I know many couples that have divorced because of alcohol.
The United States has one of the highest divorce rates globally. The high rate is caused by many reasons like changes in society and laws; divorce has become normal in society. Though the divorce rates are extremely high, they have slowly decreased since 1980. It may be because couples are marrying and having children later when they are more stable and mature. The average age for marriage in 1960 was 20 for women and 23 for men, now it is around 29 for men and 26 for women. Fewer people are getting married these days too as it has now become more acceptable to stay single or not to marry.
Being a man can be harder to go through divorce. My wife and I had kids, so it was best for everyone that I left her the house, and I moved out. I rented a flat, and I suddenly found myself alone; poor, fat and bald. I felt like I had no chance to move on and reclaim my life. It took me over year, and it was tough, but I got there in the end.
Looking for a perspective from a woman? Read Sara’s story to learn more.
Voice of the Child of Divorce
Divorce can be like an earthquake in the lives of children. A sudden change to their whole life as they knew it can be a shock and difficult to handle for some. A divorce can affect all children differently and will have diverse effects on young children and adolescents. Many parents believe that their children are fine with the situation and are in denial that they are suffering. It is important to put your children first whilst going through a divorce and trying to keep the whole situation as peaceful as possible is beneficial for them.